Dear Neighbor

Dear neighbor,

It was brought to my attention that you are a regular visitor to my page, so I figured that warranted your very own post.  I discovered that you enjoy reading my material after my young son notified me.  How did he know?  Well, it turns out you enjoy gossiping with your own young child about people you don’t know and things you don’t understand, telling your child Lord knows what about me.  Very mature of you to teach a child that talking poorly about people so openly, especially people you don’t know, is an acceptable thing to do.  And before you call me a hypocrite, this is my page where I get to say what I want, and the things here aren’t shared with my ten-year-old, because I’m a good parent.

It’s a bit confusing how you can dislike someone you’ve never bothered to speak to and who has never done anything to you.  We gave up waving and saying hello to you a few months after moving in because your phone and/or cigarettes always seemed to hold your attention better than the world around you.  Even though you ignored our attempts to be friendly, we still waved here and there.  I can only assume that the reason you decided to act like a bratty teenager was because of my personal nightmare neighbor who has nothing better to do than call the police on me for parking in my driveway, threaten me with physical violence, and then spread nonsense down the street to make herself look like a wounded princess.  It would make sense that two weak-minded people would band together though, so I can’t say that I’m surprised.

I have never complained to you or elsewhere when your kids are screaming at each other at all hours, nor have I complained to you or elsewhere when your dog gets loose in surrounding yards.  I don’t “have it out” for people I live near, spending all my free time plotting ways to make their lives miserable.  You want to know why that fragile Princess is complaining about me?  Because she’s wrong, I am right, and she can’t stand it.  She hates being proved wrong.  She hates the fact that I enjoy my privacy and don’t want her kids using my yard and driveway as a playground, or bouncing balls off of my house.  She hates the fact that she failed as a pet owner and we weren’t afraid to call her on it (I mean, who leaves a dog out in the cold, freezing rain with the lights off? That’s just cruel).  She hates that I don’t buy her “charming victim” act like so many other people do.  She hates that her boyfriend’s “we were here first” argument is bullshit that I’m not standing for.  If complaining about me makes her feel better about her miserable existence, I say go for it.  And you too!

Should I feel honored that you come here to read my page day after day?  I’ve personally never been so curious about a stranger, especially one who lives in such close proximity that I could pop my head outside at any moment if I had a question, that I’ve hopped on Google to find them.  I’ve certainly never been so obsessed that I’ve found said stranger’s online information and then proceeded to spend hours upon hours reading through it.  And I’ve definitely been so crazed about that stranger that I’ve discussed them with my young child, teaching that child that being a petty gossiping fool is a good way to live life.  If you haven’t noticed, I enjoy keeping to myself.  It’s only when provoked, I have to come out of my cozy little world and set things straight.

I tried my best with that little Princess who thinks I’m the devil.  I let a lot of things slide, telling myself that it’s not worth bringing up and to let it go.  That was until Princess accused me of yelling at her kid, approaching me by saying “did we do something to offend you?” and refusing to listen to anything I had to say because her precious children would never lie when they are caught doing something wrong.  The other shoe dropped when Princess and her Knight in Shining Hoodie had their drunk party guests on my property, leaving cigarette butts and other trash in my yard.  Quite honestly, I should have called the police, considering how loud they were and how many new colorful words my son could hear through the closed window, but I let it go.  It was a learning experience; I learned that it was in my best interest to stop trying to be nice to someone who has zero respect for other people if they aren’t interested in kissing her entitled prissy ass.

There are many differences between you and I, but one key difference is that I am minding my own business as best as I can.  I’m not seeking out people to annoy, I’m not teaching my children to be dicks to others, and I’m not posting petty nonsense on a neighborhood website.  I’m not the one allowing her children to bother other neighbors.  I’m not the one having loud parties.  I’m not the one littering my cigarette butts and beer bottles everywhere.  I’m not the one letting her dog bark outside unattended while I update my Facebook.  I’m not the one blocking mailboxes or parking in front of other people’s homes.  I’m not the one acting like a pathetic unpopular high school girl by spreading lies like a disease throughout the neighborhood in a sad attempt to make myself feel better.  I’m not the one obsessing over other people, staring at my phone or laptop for hours as I try to delve into their lives through whatever I can find online.  If you come into my personal space without permission, I take steps to remove you and then I go about my business.  Simple as that.

Thankfully, my child is wise enough to recognize stupidity when he sees it and isn’t about to buy into your crap.  Your decision to involve your child, and in effect involve mine, fortunately managed to slide right off of his back because he is smart enough to see how petty and childish your behavior is.  Getting a preteen to fight an imaginary battle for you?  Come on now.  Taking sides in an imaginary battle for the street?  Ridiculous.  I can only imagine how you must live the rest of your life if this is how you act towards someone you don’t even know.  Looking back, I’m grateful you never waved back to us or engaged us, because I would not be caught dead associating with someone on your level.  I prefer to stay out of the dirt.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, and I hope it encourages you to find a healthier hobby and get the fuck off of my website.  Perhaps you get a library card and find some good books to read?  Maybe take up crocheting?  Go on a nice long walk?  Find something better to do with your time than discuss my family and poison your child’s mind.  Mind your own damn business, because that’s what I’ve been doing and it works wonders.  You are barely a blip on my radar, and once I post this, you will again cease to exist in my world.  You are less than a gnat to me.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  Neighbors don’t all have to be best friends, we just have to respect the laws and boundaries and personal space of others.  Stay out of my orbit and I stay out of yours.  Simple.  Oh, and next time you see your privileged princess friend, blow her a kiss for me, will you?

 

p.s. if you’re thinking of retaliating on the neighborhood page, think again.  The site is VERY clear on what constitutes harassment and I will not hesitate to report you and contact the proper authorities in order to shut you down. You want to have a say? Say it right here or grow a pair and come say it to my face. 

Be Gentle

I don’t have very many female friends.  It’s not because I loathe other women, have issues with jealousy, or am incapable of getting along with people of the same gender.  I find that being friends with guys just happens to be easier.  They can be just as dramatic as females can, but I seem to mesh better with them.  I’ve also had my fair share of bad luck in the past when it comes to other women.  I went through middle school with a friend who would run off and date any guy I even mentioned was cute in passing.  I’ve had women older than me act like petty children and attempt to sabotage certain areas of my life.  I’ve had females say they’re my friends and then say horrible things about me when my back is turned.  I’ve become insanely selective about what females I’m friends with and how close I allow them to get.

I recently found out that a female I was casual friends with, in her words, “never liked me.”  We stopped talking after she had a falling out with someone I’m close to, which is when the never liking me comment was made.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal whatsoever.  Hell, she could have just been heated and said it to get a reaction out of the other person with no ill will meant towards me at all.  I have no idea and no intention of finding out.  But damn it, I am more bothered by this second-hand information than I have any right to be.  She and I don’t really have much in common and if not for mutual acquaintances, probably would never have met and spent time together.  We are two very different people.  Even so, I never ever had the slightest hint that she felt this way.

I’m an annoying twat who can be incredibly bitchy at times, I’ll admit it.  We’re all somewhat intolerable at times; none of us are perfect and we all manage to get on someone’s nerves throughout the day.  I’m at the point in my life to where I refuse to put myself in situations that make me unhappy.  If I don’t care for someone, I’m not going to waste my time around them.  I don’t see the point of making myself miserable just to try to keep the peace when I can just not put myself in certain situations and make everyone happy.  If she truly never liked me, I don’t really understand why she not only was more than willing to be around me, but talked to me one on one when she had no reason or obligation to do so.

This is a very personal problem that shouldn’t be a problem to begin with.  She has a right to say whatever she wants; whether it was out of anger and not meant to be malicious or if it was 100% truthful, it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter to me.  She’s not a bad person, and neither am I.  She didn’t say anything that was even all that bad.  My initial reaction was to feel attacked, and that is the wrong way to feel and the wrong thing to hold on to.  It’s the reason so many chicks are at each other’s throats all the time.  One innocent offhand remark snowballs into something monstrous and evil because we’re mentally incapable of shrugging anything off and moving on with our day.  It’s taking me nearly a week to finally decide that someone never liking me isn’t something I need to feel bad about.  That’s pretty pathetic.

I’ve been doing a lot of growing up lately when it comes to my relationships with other females.  Knowing that I can’t please everyone is something I’m still working on.  Knowing that assuming all women are nuts is a huge mistake is something I only recently learned.  Knowing that basing present relationships on past ones is stupid regardless of the type of relationship is something that also only recently slapped me across the face.  It’s all basic information that I refused to accept due to my fear of the past repeating itself over and over again.  If not for unrelated recent events, I’d probably be busy overreacting to her comment right now and posting a WTF blog instead of this one.  Believe it or not, me being slightly bothered for nearly a week and then writing this is a major improvement.

It’s a shame that I can’t go back to visit my younger self and cram some sense into my crazy brain, but being able to behave like a rational person for once in this type of situation is pretty big for me.  This small thing has made me look at other things going on in my life and realizing that so little of it matters.  My coworkers are temporary fixtures in my life and I can’t afford to waste time worrying about making each and every one of them happy (or stressing over the BS they bring into the office, like my old pal Tubberpottimus did).  I have to understand the difference between friends and acquaintances and not expect the same out of both.  I sure as hell don’t like everyone I deal with, not everyone is going to like me, and that should be the least important piece of my day.

My husband and I are currently taking another big step in life together (not a baby… no one mention baby) and that has played a major part in getting me focused on what is important rather than on things that simply make me uncomfortable, hurt my feelings, or are otherwise superficial and meaningless.  I don’t want to be alone and lonely ten years from now because I was unable and unwilling to quit overreacting about everything that everyone does to me or around me.  I don’t want to become a bitter person who thinks the world is out to get her.

So, former friend/acquaintance/chick I used to know… I’m sorry if you never liked me.  Sometimes I don’t like me either, so I get it.  But I like you.  Sure, we could never be best of friends, but I always had a blast hanging out with you.  I’d love it if we could be civil when we see each other, but I won’t be offended any longer if you choose to act as if we’ve never met.  The bottom line is that I’m not angry, I’m not upset, and I harbor no ill will.  It took five days and a thousand words after I heard what you said, but I’m good.  We’re good.  And if one day down the road, a month from now or five years from now, things change and our paths intersect once again, I promise we will start with a perfectly clean slate.

Our Own Worst Enemy

While screwing around on Twitter this morning, I saw a few random comical comments from a female that I could once call a friend but who I’m now unsure of where she fits into my life, if she even fits at all.  We have not spoken since the day I finally became fed up with her friend’s boyfriend and told him that I want nothing to do with him.  This was after he had acted very inappropriately and disrespectfully to me and to his girlfriend (indirectly), but I kept the trash talk out of it and just ended the friendship I had with him.  His girlfriend slowly cut me out of her life, but this one female has kept me around on her Twitter feed for some reason even though we no longer speak.  She’s favorited things I’ve said after the incident, yet uninvited me to two things we had previously planned.  And I don’t understand it at all.

I suspect the reasoning behind it, other than her loyalty to her friend, is that she sees me as wrong and ill-informed when it comes to the guy I cut out of my life.  She was drinking and distracted the first time he acted like a royal ass, not around the second time he acted inappropriately, and not present on Twitter enough to see the rest of it.  To her, this guy is amazing and a perfect match for her friend.  To her, I am jealous, bitter, bitchy or a combination of all three.  Since I have not defended my actions and not explained why I cut the guy out of my life, I am probably also seen as cowardly.  Truth is, there is no way in hell she or her friend would listen to anything I have to say.  It’s like that too often with women.  We get blinded by love and ignore everything else while treating other females like garbage if we feel threatened in any way.

This is one of the main reasons I have a very small group of female friends.  This nonsense was a daily issue in middle and high school as we fought over boys and battled with our self-esteem.  I expected and accepted it as a teenager, but I’ll be 32 this year and I’m not okay with dealing with it any longer.  If I slip up and make a mistake, I will own up to it and make efforts to repair the damage, but if I am justified in my behavior and it just so happens to upset you, I don’t feel that I am in the wrong.  If I am hitting on your boyfriend, that is my mistake and I owe you an apology and must right the situation.  If your boyfriend hits on me and I tell him where to stick it, I have nothing to apologize for.  So why is it that I am seen as in the wrong and given the silent treatment in those situations where boyfriend was bad?  Why is he absolved of all wrongdoing while I am slowly pushed away?

Part of me thinks that certain females see me as a threat.  I don’t say that in an egotistical way and I’m not trying to claim that I’m so gorgeous, guys can’t resist me.  But I am confident and confidence can be sexy.  I’m married and I don’t care what any other man thinks of me outside of my husband.  The lack of worry about having to impress the masses has boosted my confidence, plus my husband makes me feel gorgeous, so I suspect that lends to females thinking that I could pose a threat to their relationships.  I was once that same shy little girl who was threatened by any woman who was pretty or that came across as sure of themselves.  But then I grew up.

Another reason I feel that I’ve been pushed away by this female is the fact that I have chosen to remain absolutely quiet about why I became angry at the boyfriend, as I do not want to be the one who messes up the relationship.  If I could put her in my place and show her what I’ve seen, this would likely be a very different situation right now.  Sadly, I can’t do this and I won’t waste time trying to convince her of what I know.  I didn’t listen when people told me that my ex was a liar and a cheat, I just felt very silly when I found out the hard way.  If I had let loose with details, there is a small chance that I would have been heard, but it was too small of a chance for me to bother.  So I remain silent and look like the bad guy.  All anyone has to do is ask, but it’s easier to stick to the strange girl code of shunning females who threaten us.

Whatever the reasoning, the bottom line is that the female who has yet to delete me from her Twitter and the female who has already done so are both reminding me way too much of my high school days.  I tried hanging on, as we have a mutual friend in the mix, but I no longer see the point.  To be so irate at me that you uninvite my kid to your own kid’s birthday party is just silly and I want no part of it.  I don’t want to associate with someone who thinks so little of me and I don’t want to associate with anyone who doesn’t have the guts to express what they are feeling and express why they are angry.  It’s cowardly and it shows that you know deep down that you’re angry for a stupid reason.

Ladies, every female out there isn’t secretly plotting and planning, her mind set on tearing your life apart so she can steal your man, take your job, and laugh as you are left with nothing.  Not every chick who doesn’t like your boyfriend is acting that way because they are secretly crushing on them; often they see something you don’t and shouldn’t be ignored.  It is pointless and petty to treat each other as if we are all waiting to stab the other in the back.  I’m exhausted by it all.  I’ve taken the few seconds today to delete the female in question from my following feed and I’ve blocked both of these ladies in order to further distance myself.  If they want to talk things out, they both have my phone number.  In the meantime, I’m content in sticking them both in the past until we can all act like adults.

Not On My Watch

Today was set to be an easy day at work.  My work “BFF” has the entire day off, which means my work day will be free of gum popping, loud chip eating, awful gossiping, personal phone calls, and other various annoyances.  I didn’t wake up in the best mood, as I could have used five more hours of sleep, but I was motivated by the fact that today was guaranteed to be peaceful and quiet.  Even the rain was nice enough to let up when it was time for my husband and I to make the trek from the parking lot to the security line.  My husband left me at my office door with a smile on my face, and things were looking up.

When I set my backpack down, I noticed a stack of papers next to my keyboard.  It was my “BFF’s” time card submission for this pay period, plus a correction she wanted made on the last pay period.  Her first slip up was failing to report a day of annual leave she had taken during this pay period, something I noticed because I adore every day she isn’t here and because I had a signed leave slip from her supervisor for the day she had been off.  It could have been an honest mistake though; sometimes people forget.  I highlighted the corrections she needed to make and returned the packet to her empty desk for her to correct when she’s back next week.

My second concern came with her correction request.  Our building closed on December 26th because of the snow.  If you were in the building when the closure was announced, you were able to receive administrative leave for the rest of the day rather than having to take annual, sick, or any other leave type for the time missed.  If you were en route, stayed home, or left work prior to the announcement, you HAD to use your own leave.  This was common knowledge around the entire building, plus official guidance was released stating such.  My “BFF” decided to ignore this.  She unlocked my desk (not sure where she got a key from, but I’m pretty angry about that), retrieved her time sheet, and “corrected” the annual leave given for that day to administrative leave.  For the entire day.  Something she knows she can’t do.

Before you call me suspicious, let me just say that not only has my “BFF” pulled things like this with me numerous times in the last 2 and a half years, but she was eavesdropping on multiple conversations I had with people regarding the leave policy for the building closure, plus she was a part of a conversation I had about it with the time card guru of the office.  I also heard her immediate supervisor have a conversation about it with her, as he was one of the lucky few who came in that day and received administrative leave for the hours he couldn’t work.  This was just another one of her lame attempts to take advantage of me because I’m not a confrontational person and I do let her get away with certain non-work related things without a word (gossiping about me, calling me a bitch, etc.)

Due to a policy change a few months back, I don’t actually enter the time into the pay system anymore.  I’m set to take that role back, but until then, I simply collect the time card packets, check them for accuracy, and forward them along to our branch chief for review and final submission.  If they go to him incorrectly, it’s my ass on the line.  If an error passes him and he submits an incorrect packet, it’s both he and I who are going to be blamed.  I cannot and will not submit something I know is wrong.  I enjoy being employed too much to let that happen.  I returned the correction request to my “BFF’s” empty desk with a note, then forwarded an email to her, with her immediate supervisor CCd, with the official policy for the day in question.  I already know she’s going to be pissed on Monday when she finds it.

You would think I’d find satisfaction in catching my “BFF” in a few lies and being able to keep her from pulling the wool over the eyes of those in charge, but I don’t feel happy about any of that.  The only thing I’m satisfied about is that my paperwork will be submitted with 100% accuracy as far as my records show.  I can’t stand the woman, but that has nothing to do with my job performance and what I choose to do as far as my work is concerned.  Sure, I could make it personal and nitpick at everything she submits, but I don’t.  I treat her the same exact way as I treat everyone else who turns documentation in to me.  If it’s wrong, it’s returned for correction.  She doesn’t get special treatment because I don’t like to talk to her, and she doesn’t get treated unfairly or worse because I don’t care for her.  I have no doubt that she’ll see the returned paperwork as a personal attack, but it’s anything but.

I’ve always heard people say “leave your drama at the door” when it comes to work.  Your personal nonsense can wait until you clock out for the day, and that includes issues you may have with the people you work with.  You don’t have to like your coworkers, but you do have to get along and refrain from acting like children.  You also need to be able to perform your duties without allowing your personal feelings to alter the manner in which you work.  This not only means not treating people you dislike poorly, but means not offering special treatment to those you consider friends.  When you’re at work, all coworkers must be treated as equals and most of your personal preferences and feelings must be put aside.

Yes, I’m going to make my “BFF” angry and yes, it is going to cause her to become even more intolerable.  It would have been much easier for me to let it slide and allow her to get one by me, as that would keep her happy and off my back.  But at the end of the day, I have to leave this office knowing full well that I did my job properly and to the best of my ability.  I have to know that I was fair and followed every policy to the letter.  I must have no fear of being terminated over something I did or didn’t do.  My life may be made a living hell next week when she sees that I caught her errors, but I’d rather compromise my personal happiness at the office than compromise my entire job.

Goodbye My Friend

“Why are you at home/Buried in your self pity?/Why do you insist on/Living the life clean out of me?/Yes, I know you’re the person/The person that took time with me/Does it give you the right to expect/Your life revolves around me?” – Jonathan Davis of Korn

 

Over the weekend, I lost a friend that I’ve known since I was 11 years old.  I moved away from where he lived when I was 16 due to my father’s job transfer, but we never lost touch.  Now, he lives one state over from me and I’m here in Indiana.  One would think that we would see each other often, but it hasn’t worked out that way.  Due to my schedule filled with kid stuff, husband stuff, work stuff, financial stuff, and now less than cheery family stuff, I haven’t had much free time.  We didn’t have plans this past weekend; I had a day’s notice that he would be in town and because I couldn’t work it out and was mentally exhausted from processing the fact that my father has cancer, I am the bad guy.

Before I had a son and was married, I was the type of person who didn’t care if anyone simply dropped by my place to say help or hang out.  I had a neighbor that would come knocking on my patio door multiple times a day to share a beer or cigarette and just hang out, sometimes inviting us across the way for some barbeque.  That relaxed attitude was left in the past as I was forced to become more responsible and be a good mother and wife for my family.  I can’t stay out too late or decide to spend the night somewhere on a whim because we have a dog at home.  I can’t hit the bar anytime I want because there are points during the month where the money must be put towards bills.  I had to grow up.

He is angry with me and I’m not trying to change that.  What irks me is that rather than confront me like someone our age should do, I just got an unfollow on Twitter followed by a vague tweet saying I was left in the past.  This was followed by his boyfriend telling me this, word for word:

“You need to grow up little girl.  He wasn’t upset because you couldn’t see him, he was upset that you didn’t have the decency to let him know.  And looking at your other Tweets I can see that you really are an immature person who is unworthy of his friendship.  Selfish people like you tend to end up alone and lonely, so good luck.  If this is how you treat your friends, good luck.  It’s going to be a long lonely road for you.  He stopped following you because of YOUR actions, now what’s happening in your family.  Stop trying to take the high horse because you are not deserving.  One final response before forgetting that you exist.  This weekend would have been on us, just wanted to see you.”

This is coming from a guy who hasn’t spoken/tweeted/emailed this many words to me since he began dating my former friend, yet somehow he knows me.  He also included one of my girl friends on his little rant, putting someone who shouldn’t be a part of this at all into the mix.  I don’t get how he thinks he has the right to speak to me this way, and I told him so in a short response before blocking him on Twitter and saving myself from more of this drivel.

I am not a selfish person.  I listened to my friend when he needed to vent, when he was doubting certain things, and when he needed an outlet.  But to say that I am immature and need to grow up because I missed a single text message on Saturday?  Because I don’t have my phone glued to my hand 24/7?  Please.  If we had made plans and I bailed, then definitely be angry with me.  If you offered to take my husband and I out on your dime and I flaked on it, be mad.  But none of those things happened.  Minimal effort was made on their part and on mine, and blame goes both ways.

As far as looking at my other tweets and judging my level of maturity, I see that as a load of garbage.  Twitter, among other things, is a place to vent frustrations.  At no point did I put his Twitter handle into the mix and act like a bitch.  The female friend I mentioned earlier asked a question and I stated that _____ and I are no longer friends, which was the extent of my name dropping.  I didn’t begin talking shit about him to her, nor did I bring his name into it at any other point.  I’m pissed and I expressed it, as is my right.  What I did was no different from his statement about leaving things in the past, so his boyfriend needs to shut up for a minute and realize how much he is speaking out of his ass.

As far as being alone and lonely due to my selfish attitude, that is another accusation without merit.  No, I don’t have dozens upon dozens of friends, but it’s by choice, not because I’m an insufferable cunt who can’t keep a friend.  I choose quality over quantity, and the people I associate with are damn good people.  My husband and I cut out friends a couple of years ago because they refused to grow up.  It unfortunately meant he lost a friend he grew up with, as well as some he met at work, but we’re better off for it; cutting out negativity is good for the soul.  We’ve also made new and fantastic friends during that time, ones who are respectful, who share similar values, and who have a direction in life.  For a lonely person, I have some amazing company.

It’s annoying that an outside party felt the need to step in and start a battle that didn’t exist before he opened his mouth and wasn’t his to begin with.  Does anyone see me turning to my husband to have him verbally eviscerate people for me?  When our former friends from work decided to be disrespectful jerks to the both of us, I confronted them alone and left my husband out of it.  He has the power to make people cry if he wishes, but I’m not a child and I don’t need his help.  This isn’t high school anymore and it’s sad that some people seem to still live in that time in their life, acting like scorned teenagers and inserting themselves into drama, trying to have a “who has the bigger dick” contest.  It’s time to grow up.

Friendships are formed and friendships end.  It’s simply life and there’s not much you can do when people need to go their separate ways.  Maybe they’ll reconnect and maybe not.  There is a proper way to handle your business though and it sure as hell didn’t happen here.  It’s a sad thing and I’m more upset about it than I’ll admit.  It’s pathetic that the boyfriend felt the need to insert himself into things and likely kill any chances of reconciliation.  It’s obnoxious that any adult thinks just cutting someone off is a proper response after 20 years, taking one event as justification for ending a friendship.  It’s a shame that I am the selfish one, not the person that expected me to drop everything and put on a happy face when I’m beyond stressed due to what has happened in the past month personally.  I’m an imperfect person, as are we all, and I make mistakes.  Should I have communicated more and paid more attention to my phone this past weekend?  Sure.  Am I a piece of shit for being distracted by shit in my life that is more important?  No.

I can give you a list of friends I don’t see as much as I used to or would like to because they are in relationships, in school, busy with work and kids, or other factors.  Do I get angry at them for that?  Hell no.  I miss them and I respect the fact that they have things in their life that come before myself and my husband.  I take what I can get from them and I appreciate the fact that we’re friends.  Friendship is about compromise.  If my family coming before anyone else makes me selfish, so be it.  If you can’t understand that I have priorities that outweigh hanging out and drinking, then I definitely see that we do not need to be friends.  I’m in a great place in my life right now and I can’t waste time on negativity, drama, and people who refuse to see that I’ve grown up and have a family that is priority one.

We’re All Adults. Sort Of.

Anyone who follows me on Twitter or skims through my blogs is well aware of my work nemesis.  One of the blogs referencing her is https://cutelypoisoned.wordpress.com/2011/06/21/314/  For purposes of this blog, I will continue calling her Paula Deen, as her face reminds me of her and because I have a teeny tiny bit of respect for people’s privacy.  From the day I began working here, she’s been nothing but horrible.  Very immature, as referenced in the former blog about her little note war.  She’s a rude pig, a very nosy gossip, a liar, a braggart, and every single day I walk into this office I hope to not see her at her desk.

Over the past couple weeks there have been three or four occasions where someone has asked Paula Deen about the office supplies.  Supplies are something I track, but she is the one who actually calls the order in and she also has a supply cabinet directly in front of her desk.  When I hear people ask her a supply question, I always turn around and answer it.  I’ve also send an email out monthly asking if anyone needs specific items and to please see me regarding anything supply related.  People ask her because she’s 3 feet away from their face when they are digging through the cabinet and it’s only natural to ask the person right in front of you.

Today it became too much for her when someone made a joke about how quickly we go through pencils.  She printed out a note stating “SUPPLIES:  If you have supply questions, see JAMIE!“ and taped it to the cabinet.  When I walked by and saw it, I tore it off.  I don’t want any note posted around the office with my name on it.  It makes me look like I posted it, it’s unnecessary, childish, and it made me fear I would be associated with the mystery person who prints the “stop cracking your gum” notes.  As soon as Paula Deen came back from break and saw the note was gone, she threw a fit.  First she stomped around, then she began whisper-yelling to a friend, and finally she printed up a new paper, same information, and using packing tape, taped it to the cabinet securely while making as much noise as possible.

My initial reaction was to tape it to her damn computer monitor, but I’m an adult.  Mostly.  I tore the new note off and put a note of my own on her keyboard stating “Please do not post notes in the office with my name on them.  If the supply questions are that much of an issue, please send out an email to the office.”  It was the most reasonable thing I could think of to do.  She came back from lunch, noticed her note was gone, saw MY note, and said “Oh, so THIS is how we’re going to play it!”   After spending 30 minutes or so stomping around the office like a child, she sent me an email stating “I have sent out several emails reference the supplies, I have requested a meeting with Mr. Bossman.”  First off, if she has ever sent out an email, she forgot to include me on the listing, something difficult to do since we have an email distribution list for the office that is accessed at the push of 2 keys.  Second of all, why is Paula Deen’s first instinct to go whine to my boss?  He is the branch chief and is over 64 people and you think he feels like wasting time on this??  I thought my solution was perfectly rational, but I was also a bit nervous about this meeting.

An hour later, she got her meeting.  She walked into Bossman’s office, slamming the door behind her.  5 minutes later she came stomping out, followed by an extended period of more stomping and sulking.  She moved her computer monitor and keyboard so I am no longer in her eyeline.  Once the fit was over, she sent an email out to the office stating “SUPPLIES – if you have any requests or questions about office supplies, please see/email JAMIE.”  Funny, wasn’t that my suggestion in the first place?  Also funny that I received that email with no problem, while these other emails she claims to have sent did not reach me.

I got to talk to my boss later on and discovered that she had gone in there and claimed that I am very mean to her (something he discredited because he can hear just about every interaction I have regardless of how quiet I am) and that I never talk to anyone (someone he also acknowledged wasn’t true, as he can hear my pleasant conversations with many people).  I told my boss that I am aware Paula Deen doesn’t like me but it’s not something that bothers me, as I can get along with anyone and I go out of my way to avoid confrontations in the office to maintain a peaceful work environment.  He ended by stating that he just wished to make me aware of their conversation and to keep smiling.

Paula Deen, a woman close to entering her 60s, who has had the same job for almost 36 years, should be someone who can handle themselves properly in an office.  I bitch about my coworkers away from the office in order to keep my sanity and to prevent myself from getting so angry that I say or do something out of line.  I use my ipod to block out annoyances whenever possible and I keep personal information personal to avoid becoming the subject of any gossip.  I say good morning/evening and I’m the first to assist anyone who needs it.  That’s how I like to work and that is all I expect from my fellow coworkers; basic pleasantries and the ability to do their job without adding drama.  If an issue arises, I prefer to discuss it like adults rather than start a note/email war like children.  If it’s minor, I’ll just ignore it.  Paula Deen is sadly set in her ways and is content being a drama queen and dragging anyone and everyone into it.  The unfortunate thing is, even when I’m rid of this lady, there will always be another silly drama queen or king to take her place.  Grow up, people.