Cranky Comments

I recently received a comment on my blog, A True Masterchef, regarding Ben Starr who was a season two contestant on Masterchef.  The comment is:

Ben Starr is an opinionated and infantile nuisance! He has had his fifteen minutes and now that he is on the outs he has done nothing but ‘screw’ the integrity of the contract that he signed with masterchef. He thinks that he has the right to ‘correct’ everybody who thinks contrary to his thoughts about masterchef and about reality TV and if you disagree with him, he will do everything he can to defile your position: only Ben Starr can be right! Ben Starr is a very dangerous person. He dresses his persona up in this very passive….’gooey…ga..ga..type’ but when you challenge him on his ideologies that he espouses on his blogs, he goes absolutely nuts and he edits your responses and then threatens you!
Ben Starr is no sweetheart.
People need to read and I mean really read everything this guy writes about. He is extremely shallow…a fine example of a person that given a little bit of knowledge….can be extremely dangerous!

You can read Ben Starr’s so-called dangerous thoughts on his blog by clicking here.  When he’s not writing about Masterchef, he writes about his travels, the animals he loves and raises for food, instructions on how to properly cook certain things, and other wonderful food-related topics.  He also addresses more serious issues such as the recent passing of season three Masterchef contestant Josh Marks, the struggles our homosexual community faces, and the dangers of reality television in general for the participants.  He has not only been a help to me directly via Twitter and his blog, but he has helped many people and continues to educate those who wish to listen.  A fame whore he is not.

This is not about Ben though.  This is about my commenter.  This is a person who chose to read a blog of mine that was about Christine Ha that only briefly mentioned Ben.  This person chose to ignore the real topic and instead attack a person who quite honestly has been nothing but genuine and straightforward.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion of course, but I cannot understand why it was necessary to call him dangerous and accuse him of editing responses.  I cannot understand why certain people only make the effort to comment on something when they have something negative to say.

It is not necessary to insult someone in this way, especially on a posting that has very little to do with that person.  If someone is truly evil or dangerous, why not address that person directly on their own site, via email, or in another fashion?  What good is being done by telling me that someone I enjoy will threaten me if I ever disagree with him?  It’s petty and silly and wholly unnecessary.  If the goal is to educate me or assist me, provide me with facts and/or proof of your claims.  There are a few people who visit here on a regular basis who do exactly this; they give me links that educate, information that is backed up by concrete evidence, and opinions that are based on fact.  Those comments are meaningful and those comments matter.  The drivel above does nothing but irritate my eyes.

The ability to comment anonymously can be great for those who are normally afraid to open up, but it also makes it easier for cowards to come out of the woodwork and spout off with nonsense with the peace of mind that no one can really confront them or out them.  It makes it easy for people to be intolerant, abusive, or obnoxious.  Someone afraid to say F*ck Obama to their peers can do so without fear in the comments section of a news site, shielded by a fake email address or a guest posting.  The freedom to be whoever you want to be online has made people in general act hostile, cruel, and too often like children.

Surely we can find a way to express our opinions without littering them in places that aren’t appropriate, attacking people who don’t deserve it, or speaking as if we’ve never taking an English class in our lives.  I don’t care that my commenter doesn’t like Ben.  I care that they chose to post unsubstantiated claims on my posting about a totally different person and did so in a matter that makes them sound like a child.  That isn’t why I started this blog.  I welcome discussions; key word being discussion.  If someone wants to go off on a rant, do it, but do some thinking while your fingers fly across the keyboard.  Without effort, your words are meaningless.

The above comment did not change my opinion, did not educate me, did not humor me, and did not accomplish anything the poster likely set out to do.  Other than give me something to talk about while I try to wake up on this fine Thursday morning, it was for nothing.  Wasted effort on their part and probably too much wasted time on mine.  The internet is such a fantastic tool, yet we use it for the dumbest possible things.  All it takes is a few more minutes to come up with something that can either make someone laugh or make someone think.  If you’re going to take the time to say something, say something that matters.

Bang Bang

I have a confession:  I have watched every season of the Jersey Shore on MTV and I have purchased and read both Jenni Farley’s book on dating and Nicole Polizzi’s novel about a girl spending her summer on the shore.  The reality series started out amusing and has now become a train wreck that I am unable to look away from.  I am grateful that this current season is their last, as I can’t take anymore.  My husband and I are finishing out the season because we feel obligated to finish what we start, but we’ve gotten into the habit of leaving Jersey Shore on as background noise while we do other things around the living room and kitchen instead of giving the show our full attention.  As you can imagine, we’re not missing much.

This group has pinpointed what makes them watchable and what has made them famous.  They’ve taken what was once their natural behavior and amplified it, enlarging it to obscene proportions.  They have become caricatures of themselves, acting dumber and looser to appease the audience.  When one cast member is forced to enter rehab and embrace sobriety, the drunken behavior is simply replaced by incredible arrogance and a giant ego problem in order to compensate for the lack of alcohol-laced comedy.  I often wonder how much influence the show’s creators and producers have over what goes on and what is said.

As ridiculous as the cast gets, I understand the motivation behind it.  This show is their paycheck and they don’t get paid if no one is watching.  What I can’t wrap my head around are these women who jump at the chance to sleep with one of the male cast members.  I can understand the desire to get your face on television, especially since we live in a time where the smallest bit of exposure can make a nobody into somebody.  What I can’t wrap my head around is why these women go the distance and allow these guys to use their bodies for an hour or two, then kick them to the curb after maybe calling them a cab so their walk of shame isn’t as long as it should be.

The boys on Jersey Shore cast aren’t exactly the types I would describe as sexy, irresistible, or good catches.  Mike has a face that looks like a potato, Pauly has ridiculous hair, and the other two are fairly average.  They definitely spend a lot of time in the tanning beds and the gym, ensuring their bodies are in shape, but all in all, not a one of them is worthy of the amount of tail they are able to obtain.  Looks aside, there is no way in hell that each of them does not already have or has had a sexually transmitted disease of some sort.  Additionally, it is crystal clear that none of them are willing or able to pursue a relationship of any sort and have no interest in women other than the temporary habitation of their vagina.

I have nothing against casual sex and don’t fault anyone for wanting to play around without commitment or any of the drama that comes with a relationship.  I don’t consider anyone a slut (male or female) simply because they enjoy sex without strings.  I simply do not understand the motivation that these women have.  I know that certain people will sleep with musical artists or other celebrities to momentarily become one with the person and enjoy a touch with greatness, but these are generally celebrities who have achieved something great.  What good as any member of the Jersey Shore cast ever done?  They’re not changing the world or creating art, they’re simply acting like morons and getting paid for it.  Their “creative” works (books, music, etc.) have meaning only because of their notoriety; Mike’s workout video sold poorly and wouldn’t have sold at all if not for the fact that MTV pays him to go clubbing.  There is nothing to be gained whatsoever by sleeping with one of these guys.

What confuses me more is that these woman seem to be oblivious to the way they are going to appear to the viewing audience, which is bound to include someone who knows them and will let their non-viewing friends and family all about their exploits.  They get tipsy, the flirtation begins, and they go home with these men they only met hours before.  They get naked, have sex, and then are asked to leave.  They do their sloppy walk of shame to the curb with the full knowledge that cameras caught every second of it on tape.  Do they just not care that they look like ignorant trash on TV or do they honestly expect something to come of it?

I imagine that these women have very little or no self-respect and self-worth.  Their self-esteem must also be bottomed out if they are flattered by the bit of attention they are getting and feel special because of it.  It would explain why these women ignore the “grenade” talk and consider being labeled as “DTF” a good thing.  It would explain why they still try to get a call the next morning by leaving their number as the hope of being asked to spend the night slowly fades away.  It would explain why they are getting wildly intoxicated in order to loosen up to make casual sex an easier goal.  It explains it, but the explanation doesn’t make it okay.

Do what you want, sleep with who you want, and have a blast.  Youth is fleeting and should be enjoyed while it lasts.  I just find it disgusting that so many women exist who are willing to blindly throw themselves at these guys, allowing themselves to be an easy and convenient way to scratch an itch, and letting it all be captured on film for the world to see and laugh about.  Anyone who engages in this type of behavior is trash in my eyes, be it man or woman.  There is a huge difference between being a free spirit and being a disposable masturbatory tool in a long line of tools before you.  When you allow yourself to be treated like trash, you become trash.

Jersey Shore has reached its end, but it will be replaced by show after show, celebrity after celebrity, and desperate fan after desperate fan, all working to continue the cycle and make themselves look like fools.  And for what?  A couple of hours of grinding at a club followed by a few minutes of sweating in the sheets and an eternity of ridicule when the footage of your escapade is played and replayed for whoever has the urge to laugh at your expense?  If you’re going to play the game, play it to win.  Don’t allow yourself to be the butt of the joke and the discarded mess at the end of the night.  Take control and be mindful of the image you’re portraying.  Don’t assume being filmed equals being famous.  If your ultimate goal is fame, stop and think for a second about how you want to achieve it.  Personally, if banging strange guys on camera is my only path to fame, I’ll happily remain in the shadows.

Baby Spray Tans

Ever since Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi confirmed that she is indeed pregnant and engaged, she’s been the topic of much conversation, gossip, and criticism.  It’s not really necessary to actually watch a single episode of Jersey Shore to know that Snooki is a hot mess.  Season 5 had her peeing everywhere except in a bathroom, 4 had her flashing her lady bits to the world, 3 had her ass in a freezer, and more than half the aired footage had her drunk.  She cheated on her boyfriend, acted like a total idiot, and engaged in behavior that a monkey would find unacceptable.

She’s also written two books, designed a line of jewelry and slippers, scored a new reality show with her partner in crime, Jenni Farley, scored guest spots on quite a few television shows, and cemented herself as the unofficial star of Jersey Shore.  After this last season, I definitely feel that it’s safe to say she acts like a total idiot on camera and should be ashamed of most of her behavior, but she’s also got a good head on her shoulders and has proved she can be business minded and is focused on her future after the Shore.

I used to like Snooki; I thought she was funny and entertaining with just the right amount of airhead behavior.  This past year however has shown her to have become one of those females I feel sorry for.  Bed hopping, falling over in the dirty street after a few too many shots, babbling nonsensically like a toddler, and all on camera for the world to see and to be archived in the MTV vaults and on Youtube until the end of media as we know it.  She has no shame and while she seems content in chalking that up to confidence, I see a girl with low self esteem and low personal standards.

Right now the debate is whether or not Snooki and her timid fiancé will turn out to be good parents, the popular opinion being that this baby will be screwed.  I don’t agree with the trash talking because having that baby enter the world can bring about great change.  Snooki is in the public eye and currently filming her new reality show, so she’s almost forced to ensure she receives excellent prenatal care and avoids alcohol and cigarettes.  That alone puts her above many of the future mommies out there.  She’ll be under great scrutiny once her baby enters this world and will either be forced to be a great parent or find herself stuck in a Britney Spears type situation.  You don’t have to be intelligent to know that isn’t the way to go.

The thing that bothers me about all this is that the concern seems to be on how quickly Snooki will fail and how much amusement we can get out of it.  No one seems to have much concern about the child, and if you’re going to stick your nose into someone else’s business, at least stick it somewhere important.  Is this kid going to be subjected to the wild world of reality TV, growing up with a camera in its face and being harassed in public?  Will this kid grow up and be ashamed over seeing mommy’s lady parts online, seeing her cheat on daddy, and being mocked by peers because mommy still sleeps with stuffed animals after getting too wasted to walk?  People are laughing at how badly she is going to fail as a mom and I don’t think they realize that her failure would be at the expense of an innocent life.

Part of the fault of the reality TV phenomena lies with the viewers for demanding that type of entertainment.  Part lies with the gossip magazines and websites that cover these new celebrities from every possible angle.  Part lies with the media outlet who created the show and made it all possible, who made it easy to find fame in this manner.  But most of the blame for the negativity stemming from reality TV comes from the people who agree to take part.  If Snooki was just another girl who got pregnant on the Jersey Shore and had to knock off her binge drinking for a while, no one would care.  Because she agreed to take part in MTVs show, we all either care or know enough to form opinions and talk her up.  She chose to put the worst parts of herself on television, knowing full well that video tape doesn’t lie, and now it seems as though she wants the impossible and desires a somewhat normal family life with her new baby.  It’s not going to happen.

I’m not against reality TV in general; there are plenty of shows out there that you can be on without securing yourself a place in history as a sloppy drunk, an habitual liar, a drug addict, or anything else that would cause later embarrassment and shame.  As a parent, I can’t be selfish anymore because my decisions will all either directly or indirectly affect my son as well as any kids my husband and I decide to create later in life.  I can’t let myself be videotaped making out with one of my girl friends, then bed hopping from one guy to the next.  I don’t get to act like an ass anymore because that child is going to be forced to live with my bad decisions, especially if I sign myself up for The Real World and proceed to enter myself in a one woman contest to see how many STDs I can rack up within 30 days.

 

How would I be able to tell my child that sex is something you do when you’re in love when he can Youtube me doing three different guys in a week?  What business do I have saying it’s not healthy to drink when I’m on TV downing shots until I puke?  I’m less than a blip on the radar as far as public exposure goes and even I feel overexposed when it comes to my kid.  He’s learning by my example and I have to ensure I do everything in my power to show him that I believe what I’m teaching him by my behavior.  With everything else Snooki has screwed, she unfortunately also screwed her kid out of a whole lot of normalcy and her new family out of any self-respect.  I wish her luck.