Say Cheese

I always wondered why certain people would choose to cut amazing food groups out of their diet.  Vegetarians, vegans, the “I don’t have a gluten allergy but I go gluten free for the health benefits” crowd.  I used to say often that if I was allergic to peanuts, I would lose my mind.  I love food that is worthy of the highest critical praise and I love a greasy basket of fried nonsense from the state fair.  Eating surrounds so many events in life and it’s best to go in with zero restrictions.  Or at least it was.

In early August of 2015, I was diagnosed with severe lactose intolerance and a milk allergy.  I can’t even eat something that “may have” come into contact with dairy without getting horribly sick and feeling miles south of the worst hangover I’ve ever had combined with what I imagine the human body feels like after falling off a cliff.  Farewell pizza, cheese curds, most baked goods and alfredo sauce.  Hello soy cheese and almond milk and butter made out of oil.  Forget casually going to a restaurant and ordering whatever sounds good because half the time, there’s some milk product hiding away in the meal that keeps me from getting close to it.  Hell, I washed dishes the other day that had sour cream on them and got a godawful rash on both of my arms.  Things are very different for me now.

What I’ve noticed more than anything is that the world isn’t friendly to people with dietary restrictions.  Order something without cheese and be prepared for people to look at you as if you have leprosy.  It’s not fun being THAT person who has to turn down birthday cake at work or pizza parties with friends or Halloween candy because your body will reject it in all sorts of fun ways.  It’s difficult to avoid allergens when it seems that virtually everything is processed in a factory that also processes food items with nuts and milk and gluten.  I won’t even get started on how expensive it becomes to find things that are acceptable and safe.

At work, people look at me with sad faces when I turn down certain foods and give them an honest reason why.  When I don’t feel like giving a reason, they look at me funny, as if I’m a freak of nature for declining an 8am doughnut.  Dealing with this for the last month and a half has made me very confused about why there is barely any focus on dietary restrictions.  I have to make separate shopping trips to get what I need because stores just don’t carry it.  I don’t expect the world to cater to every individual need, but lactose intolerance is hardly a rare thing.  Mine may be more serious than most, but it makes me wonder why such a large population of people are left without reasonable options.  My goal is to find a way to get more options; I just need to find the starting line.

Eat This And Pop That

We live about a mile from my husband’s mother and another mile away from the center of the city where the majority of the grocery stores, gas stations, and restaurants are located.  It makes it convenient to both visit with family and to run our errands and grab a bite to eat.  Earlier in the week, my mom-in-law invited us out to the newly remodeled Chicago’s Pizza for dinner.  I should say rebuilt, as they knocked down the entire building and started from scratch.  Chicago’s has been a favorite of my husband’s, so I was pretty excited to try them out and have a bit of family time.

We arrived just as the buffet was in the middle of the set-up, so a few items such as spaghetti had yet to make it to the line.  I made a plate for my boy first so he could get started, as he is the world’s slowest eater when he’s in an environment where even the smallest distraction exists.  After setting him up and ensuring he was settled in with my mom-in-law, I returned to the buffet line in search of my own dinner.  While grabbing some pizza sauce and cheese sauce for my breadsticks, I was blocked from the sticks themselves by a large pair of women who were excited about the spaghetti that had just been set out next to the sticks.  Since there was not an inch of room to spare around these two women, I patiently waited for them to pile their plates high.

As the pair added cheese and extra sauce to their pasta, they continued their animated discussion on some new pills that they purchased last week.  Both were excited to “finally try them out,” raving about how incredible their results would be.  The talk continued as they moved along and I was able to grab the last of my meal.  It turned out that the pills in question were some “miracle” diet pills they had purchased at Wal-Mart.  The two were convinced that these pills meant that they could eat whatever they wanted to, so long as they took two pills with a glass of water with their insanely large meal.  That night was the night they were beginning their “diet” and they chose a pizza buffet to kick off their weight loss.

I’m no stranger to the difficulties of maintaining a healthy weight and staying out of double-digit pant sizes.  I was up to a frightening 170 pounds at one point and had to work hard to get that weight off.  It’s still something I have to keep an eye on and even now, I’m working to drop about ten annoying pounds.  I have gone down the diet pill road many times myself.  Right now, I take green tea supplements and various vitamins to boost my metabolism.  I also know damn well that pills, vitamins, and other similar substances that promise weight loss aren’t going to do jack unless I eat properly and ensure that I work some sort of physical activity into my day, every day.

Sensa, a weight loss product that has the user sprinkle the drug on their food before consumption, is one of many products that gives consumers the hope of a miracle cure.  They even allow you to try it for free if you go to their website and give them some information.  Their website also states the following:

This is what people such as the women at the buffet focus on; no counting calories and no dieting.  Eat what you want, use our product, and lose weight.  It gives the impression that the drug is what does all the work while the user can continue to indulge and lounge around.  In Sensa’s defense, their site does state that their product should be used in conjunction with a healthy diet and exercise plan.  This recommendation is included with just about every weight loss product out there and is also the most ignored bit of information; it’s either skimmed over or missed entirely as the consumer eagerly jumps into their new, quick and easy weight loss plan.

Obesity is a serious problem in our country.  People are getting bigger and instead of striving to get healthy, they demand that the world around them work harder and do more to accommodate their expanding waistlines and enormous bulk.  People who simply eat too much are claiming that they have a disease, an illness that causes their obesity, which is an insult to those who truly do have ailments that cause excessive weight gain.  In the building where I work, obese people consider themselves handicapped and will use the handicap line, beg for handicap parking, and use scooters to get around the building rather than take a walk.  Heaven forbid anyone say something negative about an obese person; we will no longer stand for this type of bullying.  We have to accept and love the body we are in and respect the choices of others, not bring them down and make them feel poorly about their weight.  Right?

When you take the mentality the general public has about obesity, plus the mentality the obese have about themselves, and throw in some pills that can fix it all in a snap, it’s no surprise that the women at the buffet were expecting a miracle.  Our always advancing world has made us all a bit lazier than we used to be, and that laziness extends into our health and our maintenance of our bodies.  When you present the average person with a choice between going to the gym three times a week or taking a supplement twice a day, chances are the supplement will win out almost every time.  Why else would anyone choose to take Alli, the amazing weight loss pill that can also make you crap yourself:

It’s sad that people continue to fall for the shiny outer covering of these so-called miracle diet pills and supplements, especially considering how much money these companies are making off of gullible people who are fond of the easy routes in life.  It’s a bit disturbing to think that the women I overheard at the buffet are just two in a sea of many who are currently out there, chowing down and expecting a pill or a powder to do all of the work for them.  It’s pretty pathetic that we have come to the point where we are too lazy to get up and do something, even if it’s as small as taking a 15 minute walk or choosing the stairs over the elevator.  It’s even worse that we can’t stop pigging out for a week or two, choosing instead to ingest mystery drugs to shed unwanted fat.

We are in control of our bodies, and with that control comes responsibility.  That means not relying on other people to fix problems that we can and should fix ourselves.  We should want to ensure we are consuming the proper nutrients to get our metabolism moving rather than popping a Stacker II because of the promises it makes.  We should incorporate physical activity into our daily lives because it’s good for us, not dismiss it in favor of whatever pill the Kardashians are promoting these days.  If these pills worked in the way they portray themselves to, we’d all be skinny little things.  Have some sense, and not some Sensa.

My Birthday Gift

My job requires that I stay in the office for our 2 hour lunch break to answer phones and deal with the random people who wander in.  I almost never request to leave during lunch because I enjoy the extra money and because when I do ask, I am always granted permission.  Today is my work birthday, which I celebrate with one of my favorite co-workers, Bridget.  I was granted permission to go yesterday so I didn’t bother to pack a lunch today.  I have 2 cakes in the fridge for after lunch thanks to my mommy-in-law.  I get to work and am greeted with this email:

“HEY LADY I AM SORRY BUT I CAN’T COVER PHONES FOR YOU LIKE I THOUGHT, HOWEVER WE ARE HAVING A SMALL PITCH IN TODAY, WE TRIED TO INVITE YOU GUYS BUT WERE TOLD THAT THEY WERE TAKING BRIDGETTE OUT FOR HER BDAY…..AND SINCE THE MARKETERS CAN’T GO TO LUNCH TILL 1 THAT IS WHEN WE ARE EATING, HOWEVER I DO STILL SMELL CAKE IN MY FUTURE…..=)”

So for my work birthday celebration, I have no lunch and some lying witches in the back who purposely excluded me from their little pitch in and who also expect me to share my cake.  Honestly, I don’t know why I expect any less from these people.  That being said, I am now in a pretty terrible mood.

It’s not like I expect people to buy me stuff or make a big deal about my birthday.  All I want out of people at work is a little common courtesy.  The person who emailed me (her desk is about 10 feet from mine) has her lunch scheduled from 12pm to 1pm.  My lunch starts at 1pm or when the last patient leaves.  All I needed from her was to be here at her normally scheduled time and answer phones until I got back.  Is that asking too much?

All Food is Soul Food

I love to eat.  I’m sure I was a 1000 pound woman in a past life who ate herself to death.  I love fast food, good food, bad food, fattening food, snack food, diet food, carnival food, gourmet food, I love it all!  I would rather eat and be happy and deal with those few extra pounds than be in perfect physical shape and eat nothing but rabbit food and protein shakes.

I miss Waffle House dearly; I haven’t been back since moving to Indiana.  In college, Waffle House was like the 6th food group.  My absolute favorite meal was the Texas Cheesesteak Omelet, topped with Heinz 57, side of hash browns scattered smothered covered and chunked, raisin toast with apple butter, and hot buttered grits.  My mouth waters just thinking about it.

I go through phases with snack food.  I will love a certain thing for weeks and then suddenly bore of it and move on.  This week it’s spicy cheddar Combos.  Candy bars rotate in and out when I need a chocolate fix.  Kettle corn is excellent when available; I only eat fresh, not bagged from the grocery store.  Honey roasted peanuts are delicious, but only certain brands.  Generic low fat Oreos are better than one would think.  I have issues with excessive snacking after dinner, a habit I need to break before I gain 50 pounds.

Life would be empty without pizza.  $5 pizza from Little Caesar’s, greasy goodness from Papa John’s with garlic butter and cheese sauce for dipping, giant meat fest from Mozzi’s, P’zones from Pizza Hut, gourmet pizzas from sit-down establishements, various frozen pizzas from your local grocers freezer, scrumptious chicken bacon combination from Donato’s, on the list goes on and on!  I’ll eat it hot or cold, for breakfast, lunch or dinner, any time of the year with any group of people.

A big guilty pleasure for myself and my husband is carnival and fair food.  We have the Indiana State Fair as well as a couple county fairs, and we always make an appearance and enjoy.  The best thing about fair food is that they deep fry or chocolate cover anything and everything.  We had the pleasure of sampling chocolate covered bacon one year, which tastes exactly as it sounds.  Chocolate dipped cheesecake on a stick was a favorite dessert of the State Fair and something I hope will be back this year.  With enough sugar to induce a coma, it was a delicious sin.  Deep fried twinkies, snickers bars, oreos, Coke, all fattening and all delicious.  The classic funnel cakes and elephant ears are a treat.  If you want to eat semi-healthy, there are turkey legs, chicken sandwiches, philly cheesesteaks.  All right, not exactly healthy, but at least you’re getting meat and bread.  And dairy!

Diets made me unhappy, and I’ve tried enough to know.  The low-carb craze looked good, but I only lasted 2 weeks.  I love my carbs!  Yes, I lost a few pounds during those two weeks, but I got them right back when I went back to eating bread again.  I went vegetarian for almost a month; didn’t drop a single pound.  Cutting out so much food as those diets did doesn’t work unless you honestly plan on never eating those foods again.  What makes more sense is moderation of the foods you love combined with exercise.

I find myself frequently amused by diet pills and the incorrect notion some people have about popping a pill, eat whatever you want, and losing weight.  One pill comes with the warning to wear dark pants and carry a change of underwear with you because their pill can cause anal leakage.  An ingredient of many pills was taken off the market because of the stress it put on the heart.  Most of the spokespeople for these pills are celebrities who don’t need to drop a single pound and probably wouldn’t use it if they were trying to lose weight.  Pills aren’t going to give you a miracle cure, but if one ever does get created that actually does allow a person to eat like every meal is their last and still maintain or lose weight, I’ll be the first in line to buy a bottle.